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Part V: Greed is bad
“Right shall we get on then lads... and lass,” said Trogdar. “Where’s Jandyr?” “I’m down here,” came the reply as Jandyr picked himself up off the floor where he had been knocked over again by Trogdar. “What you doing down there? Looking for Gold?” Trogdar laughed. “What about Short-arse, where’s he... she got to?” Turning the lantern to the far corner, Trogdar saw Short-arse smashing a skeleton to pieces with it’s own leg bone. “You alright Short-arse?” “NO I’M NOT BLOODY ALRIGHT! WE’VE BEEN WANDERING ROUND THIS PLACE FOR 2 HOURS, I’VE FOUND BARELY 100 GOLD, I’VE LOST THE MONEY I DID HAVE SO THAT POXY ELF WOULD STOP LOOKING IN EVERY NOOK AND CRANNY IN THIS PLACE, AND I’VE JUST TRIPPED OVER THIS FRIGGIN’ SKELETON BECAUSE THOSE BLOODY SPIDERS CAME FOR ME. I AM NOT ALRIGHT!!!” “Woman troubles?” asked Trogdar. “AAARGH!” screamed Short-arse as she charged at Trogdar, brandishing the leg bone and a rusty sword she had just picked up from the floor. As she swung the sword at his head, the rust flaked from the blade to show a keen, sharp-edged finish. “Hey, I can sell this,” she said, the impetus falling from the stroke. Trogdar picked himself up off the floor and gently opened his eyes. His grimace slowly fell away to a more composed face. “Right, shall we get going then?” He looked over to the Wizard whose head was snapped back and with ice forming around his neck. “Well, we can wait a sec. Found any Gold, Jandyr?” he enquired. “No, sadly nothing,” came the reply. “Maybe someone threw some down the well, eh? Give us a hand with this chain”. Trogdar strode over to the well and picked up the rusted chain from the floor. “Bit stiff,” he commented as he tried to pull the chain up. “Let me give you a hand with that,” said Jandyr who had silently appeared alongside him. As they pulled on the chain, another 3 giant spiders appeared. “BLOODY THINGS!” screamed Short-arse, who ran to the treasure chest in the corner and threw it at them, crushing them beneath its weight. The chest came to rest on top of the well. “That should hold them,” said Trogdar, who carried on pulling the chain. It did not. 3 more spiders emerged from beneath the chest, which rocked gently upwards as they emerged. “We need to weigh it down,” said the Wizard, who had returned from his entrancement. “What about the Gold you took from it?” said Short-arse, sensing opportunity whilst hacking like mad at the nearest spider. “MINE!” screamed the Wizard, curling into a protective ball. “Well we’ve got to do something,” said Trogdar, who was standing on the spiders while also trying to hoist the chain. “If we just stay here for a while, we can make a fortune by selling spider venom,” said Jandyr. “I know a human who will pay many Gold coins for bulk orders of poison.” “I am NOT staying here,” stated Short-arse bluntly. “What about using your weapons and armour?” “What about using you?” said the Elf, looking at the heavy chainmail the Dwarf was wearing. As Short-arse advanced on Jandyr, Trogdar dropped the chain to step between them. “Alright, alright, we’ll think of something else. No need to get your rocks off.” “The rocks!” said the Wizard, “they’re useless!” “You told me they were magical,” enquired Jandyr. “My Gold,” said the Wizard, realising where this was heading. With an annoyed grunt, the Elf stepped forward and heaved the rocks into the chest, slamming the lid shut. There were a few thumps from beneath, but the chest held. “Right, well you better help me get this damn bucket full of Gold out then,” said Jandyr, an annoyed look on his face. All four Warriors walked over and pulled at the chain. Old and heavy as it was, it took some time, but eventually the bucket was drawn up near the grate. As it came near, the lantern glinted off something metallic in the bottom. “GOLD!” cried Short-arse, temporary Gold-lust overcoming her senses. She dropped the chain and reached for the bucket. “Don’t you dare, Dwarf!” cried Jandyr, also dropping the chain and diving forwards to stop her. Short-arse reached in the bottom of the bucket and pulled out a large key from the mud collected at the bottom. “Is this it?” she said, turning her hand over to examine it. As she did so, a small spider which had been living in the sludge sunk its fangs into her flesh. “AAAARGH! LITTLE BAST...!” she cried as she fell back in pain. “Healing Hands?” asked the Wizard, gently.